Duo Partnerships Gone Awry
The unthinkable has happened: you and your Duo partner are in the midst of a fight! This situation does transpire. You might have chosen a person carefully and even followed some guidelines to avoid confrontation (see: http://www.forensicscommunity.com/duo/dynamic-duo-and-how-make-it-work), but some arguments are unavoidable. There is a silver lining. If you two are having a tiff that means you are communicating and trust one other enough to express your thoughts and feelings. Thus, hope should remain. If the disagreement stems from a situation that can reach a compromise, because you and your Duo partner are talking that compromise can be obtained. However, some fights are massive enough to strain a Duo partnership and shove it to the brink of termination. When that occurs you have two options:
- Work and Prosper
Okay, there is the third option of soldiering through and working together though you loath the other. But that's hardly a feasible, or astute, solution. Forensics should be challenging (as in the interpretation and work) but fun. No one should hate going to rehearsal. Also, people can tell when a Duo is not meshing; dissatisfaction manifests itself in performance and why bother performing if that is not even enjoyable?
So, let's backtrack. Either work and prosper or bail. Depending on the investment made into this Duo, bailing could be an option if differences cannot be resolved--and if it is early in the season and you care to continue competing. It's terrible to think as such, but sometimes two people cannot work together. However, if you carefully sought a partner, and both of you have respect for the other, quitting the Duo is a last resort, final solution choice. ONLY opt for this if nothing can be done to revive your partnership. Bailing puts both of you in an awkward situation competitively and socially. You might be labeled difficult to work with, not be able to find a replacement partner, or have no piece to compete with if Duo was your only event.
A better solution to Duo troubles is to talk and work to compromise. If you two cannot form a solution together seek counseling and talk. Go to a mutual friend or coach and have a mediated discussion of what is the trouble. Sometimes an outside source is needed to discover the real issue and put problems into perspective. Keep in mind that neither of you is at fault. Both of you just have different opinions you feel strongly about. Be honest, but respectful, and get everything out there. It will be challenging, but if your Duo can pull through you both might find your relationship to be stronger and work better.
No one wants to admit that they need help to keep a Duo together or that it must dissolve if nothing is done. Thoroughly think through your choices and make a decision. Duos that are hurting are transparent in competition. Also, it's not fair to either you or your partner to be miserable. Open up and talk and the outcome might surprise you. It's amazing what a massive argument and honesty can do for a relationship.