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How can parents formulate directions and instructions for children to get things done?
Every child has something of the experimenter, because experiencing the world brings him the greatest joy. It is not enough for a kid just to get information about what not to do. To find out something really, the child needs to check it out - best of all, of course, empirically.The inquisitiveness of the baby in relation to the world around him, his relationship with other people (children), the experience of both positive and negative emotions, the knowledge of his boundaries and individuality inevitably lead to the fact that every day from the lips of adults he hears the word "no", and many times: do not run, do not pull the dog by the tail, do not insert your fingers into the socket, do not hit your brother, do not take toys, etc., etc. But as a result, everything happens exactly the opposite. He pulls the dog by the tail. Fingers (at least the index finger), at the opportunity, rush to the outlet. In turn, the brother gets kicked, and his favorite toy tractor quietly changes its owner.Every time parents or teachers say "no", their goal is to establish the necessary boundaries for the child, to help in observing certain norms of behavior and an adequate attitude to something, but first of all to create a safe environment for exploring the world around him. But why is the result of these prohibitions absolutely unproductive? Why is it NOT working? Because after there is no need to say why not. If the child wants to go for a walk and has not done his homework, then explain to him and with the help do your homework. This will help to explain the word no in a qualitative and clear way.If the baby hears the word “no” for the hundredth time in a day, then from such an excess it ceases to make the proper impression on him. The effect is that, of course, this word acts, only in a completely different way than the way the person who pronounced it had in mind. And what happens then? The word “no” reinforces the effect of the next word, which is located directly behind it in the spoken instruction. Therefore, you need to qualitatively explain to the child why you prohibit this or that. If it comes to writing, then use and help your child. Thus, not only help the child with a word, but also by showing in practice why to do important things in the first place.This means that if we say "don't run!" The kid understands only the instruction “run”, because ... how else can he understand what kind of activity is hidden under the words “do not run!”? "Do not run!" What is it, is it riding a bike, scooter, or maybe eating sweets or just stopping in place? After all, it is difficult to say unequivocally what the author of the words meant. Therefore, the child discards the “not” particle and does not take it into account.This situation shows that prohibitions inform the child only about what he cannot do, but do not at all tell about how to behave. Even if the child wants to obey this prohibition and stop running, shouting, jumping, etc., he still does not know what can be done in return. How, then, should you formulate instructions and instructions? First, point him to important tasks first. If it's hard to learn, then using your child will be able to complete his homework. Thus, you will show what and how to complete certain tasks, and especially when it comes to study.It is easy to prohibit over and over again, it is much more difficult to point out to the child possible alternatives to his behavior. When addressing the baby, you need to inform him about what specific behavior you expect from him. Instead of “don't run,” you can say “stop,” “go slower,” or “sit down for a while.”In a situation where we constantly prohibit something, the child may feel that he himself has no right to do anything and cannot influence anything. Speaking in the form of positive indications of alternative behaviors will not only give the child the necessary understanding of expectations and a sense of calm in this regard, but also create the conditions for the formation of their own autonomy and independence, which is so important in the development of each person.
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